至今，我才知道自己竟然处在那么底的位置
今天，被老师骂到很惨。很有压力，有两个人在不断地给我压力，双重的压力啊。吕老师说我没练，可是要知道，我每天都带回家练习，只是练错了…… 或许这是个借口，我不对吧…… 但是我吸收不进去，在最后的几分钟才来教我，一下子那么多，我怎么吸收得了。我知道他们都对我要求很高很高。现在我觉得他们好像一直一直在逼我，但是或许，他们逼我，我会学的更快吧。我跟自己说，觉得压力没有用；我跟自己说，一直一直的努力就不会觉得有压力。是啊，即使觉得有压力，我还是要一直一直努力…… 即使当时很想哭，眼里已经有泪水在打转，我还是硬生生的忍了下来。
我必须坚强，先苦后甜嘛……唉
当初，我就已经很没信息了…… 今天，被骂了后，我曾想过要跟老师说，我没办法做好，练好，学好，还是找另外一个人担任这个位置吧…… 但是想到jinli跟我说的话，他们也是觉得我能胜任才要我担任的。对我要求很高是因为相信我对不对？就希望老师不会对我放弃…… jinli还跟我说：自信不是说有就有的，要自己争取，自己创造。我不说自己有没有信心，我不想管自己有没有信心，我只知道，要一直不断的努力才行……其实我早就知道，我这几个月，我一定过的很不好很苦。但是只要咬紧牙关，不断努力，就会过去了。
勇敢一点，即使想哭，也要忍，然后再继续努力
学姐能华乐和课业都能兼顾的很好很好，我也可以的对不？ 我没信心。感觉真的好累…… 别人是一步一步的往上爬，但是我没得爬，要飞，在不得已的情况下。别人会说这样很好啊，但是他们都不知道有多辛苦。先苦后甜，真的吗？ 希望如此吧。郑老师说，弹着习惯就好了。希望吧。我只知道我必须赶紧练，赶紧让自己达到吕老师的要求。或许我应该要减少出去玩的时间吧。以后还是不出去玩了吧……
不想了吧……心情低落也好。再努力点
加油

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml8Mxw1H2Xo

my instructor~~~
nicenice

must practice very very hard from now on!
jiayou~~~

still, ur duno i was upset with ur
我若无其事的上学，跟你们说话，跟你们相处
或许我人很随和，不管别人怎样说我，我都不会在意，也不会生气
所以让你们觉得我的感受不用在乎
把我对你们的好，当作理所当然的
我在想，我是不是交错了朋友？
可是没了你们这两个朋友，我又能跟谁做朋友……
唉……

do u really know how i feel?? do u really care abt me??
although i always look as though nth has happen but do ur really know how i feel?
do ur really want to know how i feel?
when ur have troubles and all that, i am always there
when ur are unhappy, i always know and be there for ur.
but are ur there for me?
i was damn upset today becoz of ur
i have not spoken more than 5 sentences today during curriculum time
and ur don't seem to care. do ur treat me as a friend??
everyday, ur treat me as though i am ur really gd friend bt when theres trouble or when i need ur, ur always leave me alone. i can list it out. i still rmb... these are my very gd friend, can u believe it? i don't even feel like talking to ur today!
one more thing
do u think that i can predict the future??
when ur go for outing, nobody ask me, maybe "haven ask" is an excuse.
but when we are going for the outing, ur nvr care abt me, all of u have someone to accompany ur, and know where are ur going before the outing, but what abt me?? nobody even ask wat am i going to do before the outing, i was alone and ur are my gd friends, yet.... forget it
I MAY BE STUPID BUT DON'T TAKE MY KINDNESS FOR GRANTED

if u are reading this post, dun have to think who is that person becoz thats u.

你们曾经想过要了解我吗？？
为什么跟我那么要好的朋友不管我，跟我不熟的朋友却很关心我？
我对你们来说，到底是什么？不用你们回答，我也知道，我什么都不是
就像透明的一样，我就是个不重要的人。
每天笑嘻嘻的我、像没事一样的我，心里的挣扎你们懂吗？？
你们还能算是我要好的朋友吗？！
即使我露出不开心的样子，你们也不在乎，那我有什么好说的？


class outing today, watched 吓到笑. accompanied wanyi and tessa to buy tickets, which i volunteered, becoz i have no where to go. thx to them, they made me happy,smiled, they accompanied me. becoz of them, i am willing to talk. bt yijin know when going in to the movie ,i was angry with the others.
during the movie,only the movie, i let myself go, i talked to them, laughed with them. bt who knows.......

i hate money, money is the cause of all troubles
damn stress when counting money after school for the concert tickets
and becoz of lack of money and we don't know who never pay, i have to forked out money,i have to pay for duno who with my own money
ok, the counting process and everything, took me like one and a half hour, from 12.25pm to 2pm
and i have to rush home and get the clothes the customer wants and pass it to her. all becoz i have to earn money! again money!
and the customer was late, made me waited. while waiting, i was thinking whether should i still go and watch movie? i will pay even if i nvr go.
ltr on was even worst. coz the customer was late, i dun have enough time to take bus and reach there before the movie starts. so i called my father and ask whether he can fetch me anot. ltr in his car, i was scolded so badly, when i was alrdy in a bad mood. 我跟我爸吵架了，吵得很厉害……
went to watch movie with jinli, virginia, sharlene, cheryl, wanyi, daomin, geena and yingzhong. went to watch up. people watch movie in cinema, but i cried in cinema.... but after watching the show and crying, feltalot better. the show was funny, nice! took fotos, ate ice-cream after that. thx jinli for treating me ice-cream~
hais, i still have to worry abt my phonebill which is so damn expensive and i have to pay my own. really very expensive. money, money and money, i hate money!!!!!

one more thing, i FAILED MY MATHS COMMONTEST!
luckily i gt 80% for lit class test
but it is still bad. maths fail just by one mark... how?!
心里好空……

aiya.....
lazy to post lehhs....
ok, first of all, exams for today and ytd was ok~~ know how to do but duno whether correctly anot... dun care alrdy la, wait get back results jiu know le...
tml's exam is home econ and lit, have to memorise all those things.................
went to amk hub after schl with jinli, virginia, sharlene, daomin, cheryl
they went to pepper lunch to eat lunch so i accompanied them
after that went to the top level, outside the cinema, do the painting... erm, i duno wat is it called... ya, each of us do 2 alphabets, was quite fun, took alot of photos.
lazy to upload the photos in blog but i uploaded it in facebook. can go see yeah? =)

happy birthday singapore!!

ytd, some of the girls in our class, which is cheryl,sharlene,jinli,yijin,sinyei,tessa,nena(sorry if i missed out, cannort rmb), and the only boy,xiangli, stayed back to do the class decoration.
we did a good work!! haha
ltr on went amk hub with jinli, sharlene and daomin
after that we gt seperated. jinli and i together, sharlene and daomin together.


fotos can be found in jinli's blog : http://www.that-comicalcrazinesss.blogspot.com/
photos take by me~ yay~